sleep

I miss it. Oh, how I miss it.

Kyalo has not once slept through the night. And if he's slept six hour stretches it is but a distant memory.  Lately, getting him to nap has been a huge battle (he's screaming as I type), and then often only lasts between 30 & 40 minutes once he does fall asleep.  {He used to sleep over an hour; I don't know what happened.}

So, I'm tired.

And I don't know what to do about it.  My gut tells me to stay away from the "cry-it-out" system because it is just so awful.  He stands in his crib, his head barely peeking over the railing, red faced, and tear streaked.  It is more than this mama can handle.  At the same time, I'm having a hard time with NO time to do things -- a sink full of dishes, some work for CURE, a nap for myself.  Night is only slightly better. I can get him to sleep between 6 and 7 most days, which is great...but he still wakes up several times.  I don't mind him waking when I'm still awake, but I sure would love it if he could go from 12 PM - 6 AM on a regular basis. Six hours! Six!! That can't be too much to ask for, right?

I'm sure that I've done everything wrong...I nurse him to sleep, I go to him just about as soon as I hear him crying, I haven't seemed to get any good systems in place.  It doesn't help, either, that he seems to be the lightest sleeper in the world.  We have a fan going, the door to his room shut, and the door to the hallway shut, and still the slightest bang, a too-loud voice, a door opening or closing, a monkey running on the roof, and he is awake, and won't hear about going back to sleep. We do our best to keep noises to a minimum.  We whisper, tip toe around the house, I put my phone on silent, don't play music, don't flush the toilet. Anything to avoid the dreaded too-early wake up. 

I had no idea this sleep thing would be so hard.  It seems like it is going to be the undoing of my mothering!

Last night -- on the advice of a seasoned mother -- I sent Dexter in with a bottle of water when he woke at four. All that meant was he was awake for an hour and a half, and Dexter, who has to go to see patients all day, suffered. {I was actually sleeping, so it was okay for me}.

I've just let him cry for close to thirty minutes - every scream filled minute torture for me - and it seems he's finally settling down.  I'd love to go cover him with a blanket, make sure he's cozy, but I know that will wake him up, too.  I just can't win!  So, we'll see if he sleeps for more than thirty minutes. 

Those of you who are moms out there, what have you done that has worked (or didn't work)? How long would you be willing to let your baby cry?  One book I read said up to an hour which just seems horrific (for the mother, more than anything.)

I'm off to get some things done while the babe sleeps - I just never know how much time I will have!

Thanks for listening to my rant...just wanted to get it recorded, and off my chest.