these days

The past couple of weeks have been very, very hard.  But also very good.  It makes me think of Charles Dickens' line, "It was the best of times, it was the worst of times."  I can relate.   Ever since Kyalo hit 18 months, we've hit some major bumps in the road.  I can't explain them, but I wonder if some of them have to do with getting a shot at that 18 month appointment.

Soon after getting a shot in the leg, his sleeping went totally haywire.  Granted, Kyalo's not ever been a good sleeper, but still, I felt like things were settling down and we were getting into a groove.  And suddenly, he was up a LOT.  And I just couldn't get him to sleep. He'd wake up, I'd nurse, put him in the crib, and he'd be up and screaming before I left the room.  And repeat.  And again.  This happened a couple of nights in a row, and it just left me utterly exhausted.  His glorious 2 1/2 hour naps (which true, didn't happen much) appear to be a thing of the past, and we're lucky to get a full hour in these days. 

Now, too, we're heading into the more treacherous territory of toddlerhood, and it is rearing its ugly head!  I need some discipline tips, stat!  So - lack of sleep + Kyalo's new (difficult? ugly? I'm not sure exactly what to call it) behavior = one cranky pants* mama! 

I am drained.  I love that I am still nursing Kyalo - and hope (and expect) to continue until he is two.  But I didn't think that it meant waking up multiple times a night for 18 MONTHS.  I have not had a solid 8 hours of sleep in so, so long.  I haven't even been away from Kyalo for more than a few hours in his entire life.  This is both something I'm grateful for (not going to work every day, for example) and longing for a night away. 

But, in the midst of this there are bright spots.  The best example is this.  On a Thursday afternoon, when I just wasn't sure how I was going to make it any more, a box arrived in the mail for us.  Turns out it was filled with children's books with an African (Kenyan, Tanzanian, Swahili) theme.  Many I had had my eye on a long time, one I had literally returned to the library that morning!  Also in the box were recipes and ingredients to make them!  This was additionally good timing because the dinner plan was blank.  I am not ashamed to say that I cried a little bit...I just felt so overwhelmed by my sense of helplessness, and then, a little ray of sunshine came through the mail.  It is another small (or huge) reminder of God's grace for us and that, no matter how hard this time will be, He will take care of us.

Kyalo loves the books.  The pictures are so beautiful he loves looking at them.  I love reading books peppered with Swahili (let's be honest - the simple phrases are about all I can manage, anyway; and the counting and alphabet book should ensure, at the very least, that I know my numbers and letters!).  Here's Kyalo happily reading Lala Salama before bed this week. 

Thanks Aunt Marg for such a beautiful book

{can you tell how the pictures are stunning?}

Something else that has turned out to be a blessing has been this.  One weekend when I was feeling especially down and out, I made the mistake of going into Pinterest, and stumbling into some parenting blogs.  It truly amazes me the kinds of things that parents think about to do with their kids.  I worry that Kyalo's going to get to school and kids are going to talk about the drawing, the obstacle courses, the crafts, etc, that their moms {or dads!} did with them, and Kyalo's going to say, "I played with rocks."  Poor kid, stuck with a non-crafty mom.  I went to be feeling discouraged about that, too.  But upon further reflection, realized I could do some of it!  If it involves kitchen stuff, of course.

So one morning I whipped up a {small} batch of oatmeal play dough -  made with simple ingredients I had on hand (flour + oatmeal + water + food color).  It didn't give us hours and hours of fun, but I'd say a solid 15 or so minutes, which was pretty good - Kyalo's never been good at playing for long stretches by himself, so this felt like a nice little break for me.

{I love that face!}

Another idea I got was to give him a "sensory bowl" filled with various size beans.  I was using dried beans that week, so kept some aside for him.  I gave him a bowl of beans with a whisk and other kitchen implements as well as some other bowls. Oh yes, it made a mess.  But it brought him a lot of joy, and kept him entertained for quite some time.  I could even get him to help me to pick the beans up! 

Fun and cheap.  Win-win.

Things are getting better again, though now Kyalo has a cold, so I don't think the sleep's ever going to get back on track!  :)

I'd welcome tips for things to do in these rockier times.  Activities to keep him busy?  Books/blogs on discipline that you can recommend? (I've picked up a couple from the library, but can imagine I'll need a lot more!)  Ideas to get my non-sleeping child to sleep? 

Ah, I know this is long. That's what happens when I vanish for two weeks.  Thanks for staying with me...

* phrase courtesy of Jenny Hunt :)